Today's goal was to sell out. Admittedly this was a bit ambitious. But all those pump-yourself-up books say to set high goals right? And something about getting stuck on the moon on the way down from the stars which sort of sounds scary because food doesn't even grow on the moon but whatever... Anyways, we were clowns with a plan.
First, we armed ourselves with quotes from our one review - we stapled them to each flyer (yes it took a while). Second, we figured out that the best time to flyer is the two hours before our show because otherwise it's mostly little kids that try to convince their parents that they should come to our show, because they don't yet understand what a tampon is and can't tell that our show inappropriate for them, and then they end up having a debate with their parents, which we usually end up mediating by giving the little kid a button with our faces, and then the kid forgets we even have a show to begin with because they got a present. We did however have a seven year old boy in our audience the other night - him and his mom left just as Jasp started stripping for Peabody. Third, we have a secret weapon.
At our very first show, a friend of ours brought a friend of his. The friend of the friend's name is Ian, and when we saw him the following day he asked us if he could have a some flyers for our show, "Because I keep telling people about you two and it would be great to have a few flyers for those moments." He has been flying for us every day now and is so good at it, especially because he can actually tell people he has nothing to do with the show and just genuinely enjoyed it so much that he wants others to share the experience. He is now officially part of our fringe family. Ian is one of the most wonderful people we have ever met.
We prepared for our "sell out the show" goal by eating A LOT of comfort food at a place called Mum's - including Veggie Haggis, Melty Wellington (so much cheese), and Cranachan - a traditional Scottish dessert which is mostly just cream and made us have to poop a lot later so it probably wasn't the best idea but it was really really realllllly yummy. Then, feeling as light and spry as ever, we rolled off to our regular flyering spot outside of the Gilded Balloon. All the regulars were there, including Teenstache who upon seeing us ran over and gave us each a high five. Later on he even introduced us to one of his friends who said "Oh they're the weird clowns you were talking about" but later called us her "new best friends" (victory is ours).
Slowly we are learning how to flyer here. You must be like a wolf looking for the special sheep friends that don't assume your are going to eat them and want to get to know you before making assumptions. Just being alive seems to get some people in a tizzy because a few times we merely said "Hello" to people (not even trying to give them a flyer) and they shouted back "NO!" - Those sheep clearly have a hate on for wolves everywhere but they should know that some wolves like vegetables too.
The Box Office team encouraged us throughout our time on the street, offering us food, updating us on how many tickets we had left to sell. They are great cheerleaders holding up fingers to indicate only 15 more, only 10 more, only 4 more! With ten minutes left until we had to go in and set up the show we had two pairs of tickets left. "WE CAN DO THIS!" we shouted. Suddenly, a family of four who were at the Box Office turned around and started laughing. They were talking about us to the Box Office team and watching us as we pumped ourselves up. "We are coming to the show" they said, "tonight". And with an exchange of pounds between theatre goers and vendors of art, our names were inscribed in a highly coveted position on the "Sold Out" board outside of the Gilded Balloon Box Office. Our first official Sold Out show here at the Edinburgh Fringe!
Goal = Accomplished